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3 Harsh Facts About Long-Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships have become more and more popular within the dating scene. Whether couples are separated because of their jobs or simply because they met online, they still want to commit to a long distance relationship. Although this could be a great experience and lifestyle, keeping in touch with someone who is miles away, on a regular basis, could become frustrating. 

It is important for remote partners to realize that long distance relationships come with their particular set of challenges. There are things to consider besides the usual need for sound communication and compromise. Synchronizing schedules, maintaining a social life without their loved one and setting boundaries for themselves within the relationship are a few of the issues they might be confronted with. 

All relationships can generate certain problems from time to time, but some obstacles are inherent to LDRs, such as the following 3 harsh facts long-distance relationships could deal with.

1. LDRs are filled with incertitude

The distance between two people who care for one another and who want to share a life together is an issue itself. It can lead to negative thoughts and a pessimistic approach to the future of the relationship, which will eventually make couples grow further and further apart.

Jealousy could be more common in long distance relationships, due to the fact that partners cannot always be in touch with each other. A strong sense of jealousy could lead to a toxic attitude and conflicts and it can only hurt the relationship. Yet, the fear of your significant other cheating on you is more powerful when you are away so much. Actually, many LDRs don’t work precisely due to the lack of trust and feelings of jealousy. 

There are people in long distance relationships who can also experience a feeling of insecurity, regarding both their partner and the possible outcomes of their bond. It might be complicated sometimes to pick up on certain signals over video calls or text messages. 

Amongst the hardest issues couples manage in LDRs, not knowing how your partner feels or where you stand are the most challenging. However, there are others which might contribute to the uncertainty of your relationship, as well.

Long-distance relationships are perceived as temporary.

Another downside of LDRs is that they might be perceived as a short term option. Their ultimate goal is to turn into conventional, geographically close relationships. Therefore, couples might consider planning this change in due time, in order to avoid being overwhelmed by the situation. On the other hand, if they can’t close the distance at the time they both agreed, they might start feeling frustrated from having to postpone a moment they were looking forward to.

Partners may choose different directions in life.

Remote partners don’t spend enough time together, which may lead them in different directions every now and then. It is likely that after a while, they will have different expectations from their life and different ways to envision their future.

The odds are against you.

Even with all the opportunities the internet is providing, there is still a 42% chance that long distance relationships won’t survive, according to researchers. The four-month is the hardest mark to achieve in a long-distance relationship and the moment with the highest probability of breaking up. The odds of success grow significantly after eight months into the relationship.

2. The absence of physical contact weighs heavy on the relationship

One of the major drawbacks of long distance relationships is the lack of intimacy, of hugs and kisses. Those are so necessary to make partners feel close and connected to each other and also to strengthen the bond through non-verbal language.

Physical intimacy is truly scarce in LDRs and that could be quite a challenge for many remote couples. It takes much more effort, communication and trust to create and sustain a real connection across the distance.

A recurrent sense of guilt can be the source of great discomfort for people who aren’t near their loved ones. It usually comes from believing they don’t go the extra mile to 

visit their significant others more often or they don’t make the best of their time together. Sometimes there is a certain level of pressure to ensure high quality moments in order to compensate for the long periods of time spent apart. When these expectations are not met, couples may feel disappointed and annoyed and thus, guilty of not achieving their goals.

Moreover, the near end of their in-person meetings could stop both partners from fully enjoying a couple of days together or from allowing themselves to experience true intimacy. The limitations of digital media that long distance depends on can also generate stressful moments and damage a close bond. 

Without physical proximity, a relationship could end easier and faster. Here are several common situations that could contribute to the failure of a long distance connection.

Comparing your LDR with other people’s relationships.

This can only make your beloved feel bad for not being able to offer you what you need and want from your relationship. Try to appreciate what you have and think about the fact that you are not alone and you have someone special who cares about you. Even if they are far away most of the time.

Getting too intimate with another person.

Since your partner is not around so much, you may find it easier to get close to another person to the point of being intimate with them. But that could end up hurting your significant other and in the end, your relationship.

You stop making an effort.

Considering the distance between you and the virtual ways of communication, there is the risk of a rut setting in when it comes to long distance relationships. But there is no need to let your dates become a routine. On the contrary, you could be creative and try out several new, amazing adventures available online.

Investing too much or not enough time into the relationship. 

A relationship requires commitment and nurturing in order for it to grow and develop. 

Although it is reasonable not to spend every minute of the hour texting or talking to your remote partner, bear in mind to schedule video calls or virtual dates at least a couple of times every week. You don’t want to seem too needy, but not too indifferent either. 

3. Long distance relationship can take an emotional toll 

The psychological aspect is perhaps the most demanding of the 3 harsh facts about long-distance relationships. The emotional challenges of such connections could be quite the burden and lead to severe issues in time, like depression. 

For people willing to embark on this emotional journey there are a few negative effects worth taking into consideration.  

Remote partners will miss each other often.

One of the greatest disadvantages of LDRs is the long periods of time couples spend apart. As a result, partners miss one another frequently and some of them have difficulties dealing with those feelings of loneliness. Being alone for the most part of your relationship increases the need for security and reinsurance from your loved one.

These emotions reappear at the end of every meeting in real life. Even if you get to enjoy wonderful moments together, when you return to your day-to-day routine, you might feel sad or anxious or disappointed again. 

Sometimes, there could be a lack of commitment.

Because they assume there is a high chance that the relationship doesn’t work out, long distance couples are more reluctant to invest time, effort and feelings into their relationship. In some way, their low future expectations affect how they act in the present, at the very start of their interactions with each other. However, this attitude could be construed as a lack of interest and commitment and undermine your relationship in the long run.

Maintaining contact on a regular basis can be difficult.

Sometimes distance can create distinct issues for couples. Planning regular online meetings and video calls or balancing busy schedules could become overwhelming from time to time. Having to juggle with different time zones can be a real annoyance as well. In the end, all this time management adds to the usual stress of a relationship.

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